Long Distance Relationships

Nowadays, people meet online and develop relationships. Meeting and dating someone in real life have slowly become a rare occurrence due to busy schedules. People tend to chat with each other online and decide to meet up for coffee or dinner to see if the chemistry online translates to real life. However, this is difficult when the other person is thousands of kilometers away. This tends to happen between women in the Philippines and men from USA or Europe who have met through dating websites or online chat rooms.

Sure, it is a great feeling knowing that you were able to connect with someone and have a potential life partner but we all know that it is difficult to maintain a long distance relationship. There is always a feeling of uncertainty for the future and unbearable longing for each other. Most tend to be impatient and quit on their partners but what I have learned from my relationship is that constant effort and communication will come a long way. Do not be afraid to say what you are thinking. It is better to think “why did I say that” than to wonder “what if I said that”. Life is hard enough as it is, so if we can avoid some doubts and problems that come our way then we should.

One of the challenges in maintaining a long distance relationship is the unbearable feeling of missing someone. There are times when you feel lonely and just want a hug from your partner but, unfortunately, you can't since he is so far away. More often than not, this leads to women being needy and eventually turns into a fight. Yes, I have experienced this myself and I have learned from it. So, ladies, when you are missing your partner but you know that he is busy, there are several ways of overcoming this emotion. First off, it is okay to tell him that you miss him but do not constantly send him messages asking why he is not replying or if he misses you too. He will tell you if he misses you on his own. Just leave him a sweet message describing what you feel and what you would like to do if he was here with you at this moment. I am sure he will appreciate that. And do not tell him everyday that you miss him otherwise it will just lose its meaning. After that, do not constantly check your phone if he has already replied. Instead, find activities that will make you forget time. It can be an outdoor activity or just reading your favorite novel at home. Whatever it may be, choose an activity that you will truly enjoy and it can be something that you can talk about in the future. Better yet, distract yourself with your career by attending seminars that will improve your skills in your chosen field. Or acquire a new skill that you would like to learn. Nothing is more attractive than being with someone who is independent and pursues what she wants. By doing these activities, you will be able to enjoy your time and be distracted from your unbearable longing for your partner. Do not solely depend on your partner. Yes, we love our partners dearly but everyone needs their space to grow. It is more fulfilling to grow together than to constantly monitor someone else’s progress. We are not in high school anymore. We don’t need to spend every minute of every day with each other. We have plenty of time for that in the future when we are successful and ready to settle and have a quiet life in the countryside or wherever you would like to live in the future.

However, this does not mean that we will just neglect our partner. Constant communication is also a key factor in maintaining a strong relationship. It is not acceptable to not talk to your partner for days or weeks. Sending messages when you wake up to remind him that he is the first thing that you thought of is quite sweet. Or better yet, send him a nice video message to make it more personal. There are numerous chat room websites and apps that makes us feel closer to each other. Let us use them to bridge the physical distance between our partners. We should not hold back in telling our partners how we feel online. They are not here with us so we should be more expressive towards them. Telling him about your day or aspirations in life will make him feel closer to you. In return, you should also get to know him by asking these things as well. Aside from this, trade pictures of what you did for that day. But do not bombard him with tons of photos that are not significant. A photo or two a day is enough for him to appreciate your effort. Think of it this way, would you want to receive tons of photos that are not really important? I don’t think so. Whenever you have doubt on how much photos you should take and send, put yourself in his shoes first. Will you appreciate it if you sent the photo? If you do, then go. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. A great picture might be worth a million words. So don’t be afraid as well to send pictures. I know it is confusing but the key here is communication. If he says outright that he enjoys receiving them then just continue with it. My main point is say what you truly feel. Do not say if you are okay if you are really not and tell him what you really feel. He is not physically with you so he cannot confirm from your actions what you really feel. Maintaining a long distance relationship is truly hard but with the amount of effort and mutual understanding, it will all be worth it in the end. Someday, you will bridge the gap between you two and live side by side.